NOW 4th December 2013

I'm struggling right now because I lack mental energy but feel like I need to write a blog entry which is interesting and entertaining and deep and profound and insightful etc. etc. etc.  but I can't think of anything, so instead i'll use these pixels to address this problem.  What is the root here?  Is it not enough to just write whatever and let that be the reality of the moment?  Does every post here have to be all things to all people, or can I sometimes just be tired and apathetic and just write a few words that don't matter much or count towards some great revelation or threaten to implode the universe through sheer brilliance?  

I think I can probably just do whatever I want.  I want a popular and successful blog because I want to help people and I think maybe I can share some things that will help, but it has to be on my terms, it can't be me trying to give to others what I think they want, that will never work.  Anyway, it's early days, I could just be writing to myself at the moment, but that's okay, I know blogs can take a long time to blossom into something... okay, I don't know that because I don't know anything about blogs, but i'll take a college level educated guess that millions of people won't be reading my words tomorrow.  But that's not the spirit, is it!  Of course millions of people will be reading my words tomorrow, or what was the point in watching The Secret.  That wasn't a question, btw.  

Actually, this blog entry isn't too bad.  So maybe there is a lesson there.  I just need to be honest.  I don't like pretence, but I do feel some sort of need to put an esoteric tutu on and give you all (read: none) a performance.  It's just not going to happen though.  This blog will live or die by truth.  I hope.  That is, I hope it is truthful, and I also hope it lives.  I'm going to give myself a few months to get used to writing blog entries and then when I feel a little bit confident I might get my swag on and try and promote it.  All very attention seeking, but that is okay, it is not for I that I seek attention but for the message conveyed in these words on a screen and the message conveyed in the attitude and mindset behind these words on a screen.  

Twenty seven.