I always have a lot of ideas and receive a lot of inspiration. For years now I have bounced from one big idea to the next and then back again, and until very recently I thought this was a problem and that I needed to get focused and concentrate on one idea and succeed with it. But recently I realised that my ideas are like plants in a garden, and that they are planted in my mind then nurtured over time before (hopefully) blossoming.
So now I have no problem bouncing from one idea to the next, because each time I visit an idea it grows that little bit more, and now I can envisage a time when all these ideas will blossom into the most wonderful garden.
The ideas keep coming, and what I realised only today is that every time I get a new idea or batch of ideas I get excited and give them all my attention, and they seem very important to me, and I develop them to a point and then the momentum is gone and I step back. Then another idea or two come along and they supersede the previous ideas, but at the same time they take away the pressure of the importance of the previous set of ideas and, as such, make those previous ideas much easier to get on and implement.
For example, a few months ago I was working on a small local magazine with the kind of content that will be on this blog in it. I was also working on selling raw vegan sweet snacks as well as doing raw vegan coaching, whilst taking groups of recovering addicts on week visits to a Buddhist centre (a LOT of ideas!). At the time these ideas seemed so important, and they were all developed to a certain point but then my enthusiasm fell flat as the pressure of them all became too much and my brain couldn't keep up. But now I have some new ideas... I want to plan some civil disobedience campaigns against the austerity measures and I want to try and make a quality blog here, and these things excite me (and daunt me) more than the previous ideas, to the point where the previous ideas are like 'whatever!' and I feel like i'll just do them in my sleep, no worries, no sweat, no big deal.
I like these developments. I love the strange little angles and insights that come out of nowhere. Sometimes I wonder what more can I understand and be aware of. I guess we cannot conceive of what we have yet to conceive of, so it's quite beautiful when something new arises in my mind and helps me to see things in a new light. The understanding that all my ideas are like plants growing in a garden gave me immense peace of mind. Prior to that i'd felt like a failure, like none of my ideas were succeeding and that I lacked commitment. But this couldn't be further from the truth! I am ridiculously committed, it's just that sometimes the inspiration isn't there and there is no way forwards at that time, and maybe there is a good reason for that. I certainly know that if some of my ideas had 'succeeded' at the time of their inception that they'd only have been ruined very quickly by my immaturity at the time. So I know now that my ideas will blossom when I am ready to present them to the world, and i'm happy with that.
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