NOW 26th December 2013

It's been a week since I updated here.  For a good few days I was working on Austerity Ends Here and it consumed all my attention and mental energy.  Which was fine because it needed that commitment and that commitment paid off.  Still, I think for this to be a decent blog then it needs to have some dedication too, even if that means just a quick 5 minute entry at least.

Anyway, I was supposed to be fasting and silencing right now, but that fell apart.  It's hard to say at this point why it fell apart and whether it was appropriate for it to fall apart.  One part of me wanted to do it but then when it came to it, and when I was right in the middle of it, it just wasn't enjoyable at all.  I didn't want to be doing it.  In the past i've wanted to fast / silence.  This time there was no motivation there, I was just doing it out of poor motivation.  I can't be bothered to explain right now.  My little brain isn't very clear or fluid right now.  I might come back to it.  

In saying that, I kind of realise that for this blog to be any good at all then I probably need to be more willing to make the effort to share in detail what is happening in my life and not just being like 'oh i'm tired' etc.  Although that is the honest truth!  If I just stay honest with the blog and just expressed myself naturally in the moment then i'm sure that between the BLAH moments there'll be the COOL moments which will make up for all the BLAH.

I'm going to go tidy my room.  It's a mess.   

NOW 17th December 2013

I haven't posted properly for a few days.  I've been so active and engaged with the Austerity Ends Here (AEH) page that i've almost forgotten to write here, or simply not had the mental energy to do so.  I'm in a curious position with the AEH campaign.  I have over 300 likes in just one week of activity, which is very encouraging, but it's still only a fraction of what I need.  I need to expand my recruitment methods.  I think at the moment that most of the 'likes' I have are empty, in so much that I don't think they are committed in any way to what I am proposing, but that is okay, I have time and ideas to inspire them! 

My best friend is an online marketing professional so he is going to share his ideas on how to get more support.  That is good.  I've always thought that his skills would be very hand in my ongoing efforts to change the world.  His ability to connect with the wider world through the internet will be very powerful when aligned with the right message and action.  I hope this is it!  

Volunteering is going well.  The lunchtime meditations are up and running and doing well.  I'm averaging around 7-8 per session, which is fine for now, as there are many others interested who i'm sure will begin to come along in due time.  

Other than that i'm planning a silence and fast for over the Christmas week.  I'll go into more detail about that closer to the time.  For now, I am mentally sagging.  That Christmas week will be much needed and very helpful.  

My Idea For Civil Disobedience

The banks took our money… let's take it back.

Imagine this…

One million UK citizens each withdraw the total of their bank account overdraft (let's say £1000 each), donate it to a local community service or charity that is struggling because of the cuts, and then write to their bank to let them know what they have done, why they have done it, and that they refuse to pay back the overdraft and will no longer be funding the account.

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to, your good friend, Civil Disobedience. This is how we win.

One million people donating £1000 each means One Billion English Pounds Stirling back into our pillaged communities. It means One Billion English Pounds Stirling taken back from the banks. More than that, it means we will have the governments undivided attention, and enough leverage to achieve our simple and plain goal: to make government abandon its austerity programme. The only question is can get the numbers? With those numbers the government would be powerless. The answer is obvious… of course we can get the numbers!

Let's cut to it. The banks took our money and now we are paying for it with our lives, our communities and our futures. So, let's take our money back, let's take our power back, let's take our future back. We need to show the government that we can and will take decisive action, i.e. that we will win this. What I am proposing will force change. It will capture the imagination of the public, inspiring and empowering them, whilst disempowering the government. This is a course of action that is simple, effective, and achievable. This is our victory card.

We have the resources, the means and the collective will for all UK residents to live in material security. We should aim for nothing less, and accept nothing less.

Join us @ Austerity Ends Here. https://www.facebook.com/austerityendshere

NOW 13th December 2013

Another tired day.  I don't know what is the matter with me.  I just feel so tired at the moment.  I'm getting good nights of sleep, but when I get up I just want to sleep longer.  I think i'm eating enough for the amount of physical activity I do.  Maybe not though.  Life is good at the moment... it's exciting, and that is all anyone can ask for.  I just wish I had the mental energy to write about it here.  I'm sure I will at some point.  The lunchtime meditations are going well.  Today there were seven of us, which is great for the third day, and a good few of them really seemed to get a lot out of the meditation.  It's been a curious last few weeks for me.  I've been so pro-active, so determined in accomplishing my aims.  It's quite unusual for me!  I think it is part me and part the conditions.  It just seems like the right time, both for me and the service.  I hope it continues.  It's fun!  I want to help make it the best service possible.  I want to help as many addicts as possible.  Especially spiritually.  May all living beings be happy.  May all living beings be free from suffering.  Bless you all.    

NOW 12th December 2013

Truth the told, I don't have much appetite for this blog.  I think it is more to do with tiredness than anything else.  I'd love to share some super thoughts and moments of brilliance, but with a head like a brick the best you're going to get is dust.  As I said yesterday, let it be real, this is the journey, there is no more that I need be than who I am now.  I accept myself.  Right now is okay.  

The lunch time meditations went well today.  There were three others in the first 15 minute slot and then four others in the second 15 minute slot.  Compared to a grand total of ZERO in both slots yesterday, this is an improvement and a half!  Not that I was at all disappointed or despondent yesterday, I mean, it was the very first day.  I think what i'll do in future is wander the building with burning incense and get them all drooling for meditation.  That or bring in some fancy 'meditation group only' biscuits.  Believe me, a good biscuit is the biggest draw in a service.  If you want someone to attend your group make sure the boiler is boiled and the biscuit box is present.  

My civil disobedience campaign is in its early stages but is going well.  I have attracted 62 'likes' on my Facebook page since yesterday.  Which is good for me!  I thought I sucked at promotion, but maybe all my other ideas sucked and no-one was interested.  I suppose with austerity there is a heck of a lot of passion around the subject.  My vision is grand, to say the least.  Very unrealistic to a small mind.  Thankfully, i'm a dreamer, and I bloody hope i'm not the only one.  I came here to kick-ass and drink kale juice... and i'm all out of kale juice.  That's not even true.  I've got six big neglected plants out on the drive inhaling car fumes.  Still, very high in vitamin K, I believe.     

I feel like sharing a song today.  What shall it be.  Okay, this is what it shall be.

Mark Lanegan - Skeletal History

Brutal!

NOW 11th December 2013

I have this thought in the back of my mind that this blog must somehow entertain and stimulate and inspire for it to be worthwhile.  Of course, i'd love to have some entries that do do that, but from day to day it is very hard to be inspired and energised and passionate and oh-so insightful.  If i'm going to do this blog every day then all it can be is honest.  I think the day to day thing works because it becomes very much about the journey.  It's not just me sculpting some brilliant thoughts and then posting once in a while.  The journey is what it is, and that includes some tiredness, some apathy, some dullness.  I'm just tired right now - tired from a pointless late night on the weekend that has cast a shadow over the week, and tired from starting up exercising again.  I don't want to bore people, but sometimes even us go-getting world-changers just need to rest, relax and recuperate.  

I don't feel so much pressure at the moment to change the world single handedly.  Okay, that's an exaggeration, i've always known that this is a collective effort, but I am very aware of the gifts i've been endowed with that make me a very strong contender for making huge changes on this planet, and I will give my all to doing so, but I guess where the problem arises is when I don't feel i'm making the most of those gifts, almost like a squandered talent.  That's ridiculous though.  For someone like me there is no time restriction whilst i'm breathing.  My life is my occupation.  I don't just have until my mid-thirties like a sportsman.  Even the true greats like Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha etc. were older than I am now, so I shouldn't be too hard on myself.  

A thought just crossed my mind... Am I being self-absorbed talking about myself like this?  Probably not, since there's no-one else to talk to at the moment, and also I am sharing my thoughts simply to help others, although they may at times have to give these words a good squeeze to get much out of them.  The times are changing.  Something big is going to happen.  Over my dead body.  Who knows what song?  Two points for the first correct answer.  It's not even my favourite song by them, but i'm going to go to sleep and let this wash all over me.  At some point soon i'm going to be very excited and very inspired and you, whoever you are, might just have something worth reading.  Have a nice evening, y'all.          

NOW 10th December 2013

I was going to share a story about honesty paying off, but I can't be bothered.  It's so boring telling stories.  Alas, let it be known, honesty is good.  That's right... Good.  Which sums up my energies at the moment.  I volunteered today and now i'm heading back out to town to go to The People's Assembly, which is a meeting group tackling the austerity measures.  I hope they are up for real action.  I can't be bothered (either) with waving placards and leaflet campaigns, not unless they are aligned with real action.  And by 'real' I mean action that works, not just action for the sake of action and to appease our conscience a little.  The thing is, I am so contrary, so un-ruleable, so committed to the wellbeing of all human beings that I really do not give two hundred and eleven shits about the government, the law, or any other authority that acts against what is right. 

I just want to destroy this system.  Not so much through action against the system, but by creating a new idea, offering a new vision, and then living and breathing it for all to see the beauty of it.  No-one needed to denounce horses and their carriages to sell the benefit of the car.  Likewise, other than maybe to get some attention and to kick some shins, I really don't want to waste my energies tearing down what is already obsolete and moribund.  Let it die.  No need to kill it.  Watch the death float by.  It's curious to see the advocates of revolution trying to mirror and repeat revolutions of times gone by, because what is happening now and is soon to happen is going to be nothing like what is expected.  This will be the work of divinity, not hatred and anger.  A compassionate revolution.  I'm rambling, too tired at the moment to think straight.  This is me NOW.  Good, huh?    

My Next Steps Towards Just Changing the World

This is what I am up to at the moment:

1. Volunteering full-time at a local service for recovering addicts.  I've been volunteering there for nearly four years and there have been a lot of changes.  At the moment they are very thin of service users and actual services to offer service users.  I'm going to do my best to contribute as much as I can to improve the service.  I'm starting a 'Learn About Buddhism' class once a week, i'm going to put on lunchtime meditations each day, start a weekly podcast called 'Recovery Talk' for the service users to share their thoughts on all things recovery, and i'm going to start a spiritual meeting group once a week to preserve and develop the (original) spiritual ethos of the service, which I believe to be absolutely vital for the success of the service.  I also have lots of other ideas, but one / four thing(s) at a time!  The aim is to get all of these ideas started before Christmas, and once established to start a new batch of ideas.  It's not just for the benefit of the service and the service users, but it's getting me into a mindset of giving as much as I can.  For a long time i've held back (for various reasons) when I have much to offer, so I want to get used to giving all that I can, and having the attitude and the energy to do so.  

2.  I'm getting involved in social and political action against the austerity measures, and in particular with promoting civil disobedience as the necessary action required to end the cuts.  However, I want to align my efforts with a positive philosophy to achieve a positive vision.  What i'm thinking is to begin a campaign based upon material security for all human beings.  Basically, the idea is that we now live in a world where we have the resources, the means and the collective will for all human beings to have material security, i.e. food, shelter, clothing, medicine, education.  This is possible.  So rather than campaigning simply against the cuts, i'll be campaigning against the cuts as one step towards a larger vision.  I'm not sure it is a vision I would ever see attained in my lifetime, but it's important to plant ideas and nurture them as much as we can.  Material security is essential, and will allow humanity to pursue creative aspirations that will transform the world.  It's something i'll discuss much more over time.

3.  As an extension of the action against austerity I think it is important that I live the lifestyle of those that are affected by austerity.  I want to be on benefits, living in my own accommodation (i'm at my parents at the moment), struggling to eat and pay the bills, living in a cold home, because I have a mind that creates solutions to problems very easily, and so by living how so many others are having to live i'll be able to find little solutions that can then be shared, perhaps in another blog.  Poverty shouldn't be celebrated, but it offers some very positive opportunities if utilised, and if we have to live in poverty then we may as well learn to make it as positive as is possible.  

These are my three main focuses at the moment.  The volunteering helps to keep me in a certain mindset - compassionate, of service, dedicated, giving, all of which will enhance my ability to succeed with my other efforts.  Oh and the other focus is this blog, which, I hope, in time can share certain ideas and attitudes that will be of benefit to others.  I encourage people to recognise the power that they have to make a difference, and yet I have often fallen quite far below my own capacity, and so now it is very important that 1. That messages continues to be shared, but 2. That I am a living example of it.  

Peace!  

How YOU Can Change the World

I'm going to be lazy today and not write a blog, but copy and paste what i've already written elsewhere.  You see, I post a lot on various discussion forums online, and it's in the moments of dialogue where I tend to write my more impassioned pieces because i'm engaging with and responding to a human being that I care about and want to be happy, and so the love comes through.  I'd love to have the same here, you know, people commenting, questioning, challenging, so all that passion and inspiration (on both sides) comes flowing through.  Anyway, below is my response to someone who was being a little bit downbeat about humanities future and their own personal ability to make positive changes...

I live in the same world as you. I live in a western society - not even a nice one, but bloody Middlesbrough, the town voted the worst in the UK on a national TV show, and I work with addicts. So, i'm in it big time, right in the thick of the dark belly of this beast, and I fucking love it... and that is the key, LOVE it. You have come here to do a job. Not be a miserable, self-defeated mammal, but a fucking super-hero. Quit making excuses! If I can do this then you can and anyone else can. It begins and ends with us. You have endless, infinite power within you, the idea that these silly little children playing dark forces can even touch you is ludicrous. Unless, of course, you in your infinite power, give them permission to, and then by all means they can feast on you - but not because of their power, but because of yours. 

You and I and we have incredible tools at our disposal to counter whatever efforts are being made against to dim our light, and yeah, I grant you, it's a rough ride, it's not easy, but if you are for real, if you are truly wanting to stand up and unleash your truth on this world for the benefit of all living beings then here are some mighty, mighty tools that you are free and able to utilise, that I have utilised extensively and can testify to their power...

1. Meditation. It's a given. If you're not meditating then start meditating. There is no more powerful tool for connecting with your deepest truth... that deep truth is where your endless power lies, so get in touch with it.

2. Diet. No-one wants to hear this and everyone wants to deny what is obvious, but we are designed to eat fruits and vegetables - not meat, not junk, and not cooked foods. There are 18.7 million other species on this planet, and not one of them cooks their foods or creates new foods. Eat your food raw, and eat what nature provides. This alone will take you up to levels you didn't even dream existed. 

3. Celibacy. Keep your fluids in you. Stop blessing your socks with your life force. Don't take my words on these things, research and experiment.

4. Fasting. Juice fasting and water fasting. Start small and slow and build up, but do your research first. Fasting is turning your being up to eleven. Again, super-hero territory.

5. Ayahuasca. Not necessary, as it's something that has to already be a part of you, but if it connects then it is an incredible medicine for inner healing. 

6. Exercise. Yoga, running, strength building... basically anything that looks after your body.

7. Cold showers. Hot water is for wimps. 5 minute cold shower (not warm... COLD) each day for 30 days makes you a terminator. Honestly. Google 'cold shower therapy' and read the research and the testimonials. I did it. I now kick-ass. 

8. Service. Help people! Volunteer with the vulnerable. It will naturally bring all your best qualities rushing to the surface, and there you will see just how amazing you are. 

9. Earthing. Be in touch with the earth through bare feet. Again, 18.7 million species and only one is dumb enough to put shoes on the most sensitive part of their body. Your foot is designed to be connected to the bio-electrics of the planet. Again, read up on it!

I think that is it. The above is what I use. They make a HUGE difference. And there is probably loads of other stuff too that i'm not aware of. Like I said, there are no excuses. We have everything we need to do this job, and we will do. I'm saying all this now in the total knowledge that it is already a done deal. You are already there. It is done. You will play your part. You will play it fully and you will help transform this world. Right now is simply a part of the process you need to go through to make you the most effective warrior possible. Not everything is as it seems. So, as shit as it seems right now, trust. Soon your life will take off in ways unimagined. It doesn't mean you have nothing to do, it just means you are going to do it. Believe in yourself, brother! Your time is as now as you want it to be.

This God Thing

I have NO idea what this God thing is all about.  I know that something - some force or energy or intelligence, has worked miracles in my life, of that I have no doubt.  What that thing is, I have no idea.  I trust enough in all the great spiritual leaders and seekers throughout the ages to believe that there is something - some kind of creative force from which this universe and our lives have arisen, call it God, Tao, Nirvana, Allah, Great Spirit, All That Is, Higher Power, or whatever, it doesn't matter, but there is that something beyond our comprehension that is personal, that knows us, and that we can choose to have work miracle's in our lives.  

My problem - and, it seems, a problem for many atheists - is the absolute nonsense and, let's be honest, evil that has been perpetuated in the name of this something… this God thing.  All I know is that from the moment I invited this God thing into my life to cure me of my misery it has not harmed one atom of me, not even for a billionth of a moment, regardless of how poorly and foolishly I have behaved.

  

So, maybe this God thing actually loves me no matter what.  Maybe this God thing won't send me to an eternal, torturous hell for not being a good boy and doing what i'm told / commanded.  Maybe i'm not a naughty little devil-ridden sinner.  Maybe this God thing has not, will not, and never will - or even could - be angry with me.  Because maybe, just maybe, this God thing is not a fucking arse-hole.

You know, if our children did something wrong, would we send them to a place where they would be tortured forever as punishment?  If our children went against our commands and disobeyed our wishes, would we want them to burn alive for an eternity to show them the error of their ways?  Of course not!  Why?  Because that is how you end up on the front page of The Sun under the headline 'MONSTER'… it is nothing like love.

Even we as humble human beings recognise the difference between what is love and what is psychotic.  But this is what we are told an infinitely loving God will do to us.  It makes no sense.  And I suspect - as many atheists do - that it makes no sense because it is a LIE… a lie told by those in power with vested interests to keep us, the pitiful masses, living in fear, living in division, so that we can be controlled and exploited for their gain.  You know, the Vatican has an awful lot of gold...   

       

So, let's not disregard the possible truth of this God thing because of the toxic deceit and manipulation of them who know who they are.  Instead, let's consider that, maybe, the only church that we need to worship in is within our own heart… that the only priest we need listen to is our own conscious awakened mind… and that this God thing is within every one of us - no lying, profiteering middleman needed -  just waiting for us to wake up and remember our divinity again. 

Madiba

Nelson Mandela died today, but that is okay, what matters is that he lived.  He was 95!  That is old.  It's amazing to think he was already an old man when released from prison.  His death was curious timing for me as I have been reading his autobiography over the last few weeks.  I didn't know much about him before reading the book, and I was only reading it out of interest in civil disobedience, but he led a great life, a true man of service, and there is no higher calling and no higher gift with which to use our lives.  Bless him.    

Alas, no tribute is needed here.  I think he himself would acknowledge that it is ideals that matter, not individuals.  Certain individuals have exceptional power to carry an ideal, but if the ideal is empty or morally bankrupt then however well the man carries it it will simply be consigned to dust sooner or later.  Er, when I say 'man', I mean mankind / humanity.  Everything includes the ladies too!

I don't want my blog entries to become essays.  I hope at some point to have a readership who engage in discussion with me, so at the most I want these entries to be conversation starters.  So when I share a view this should kept in mind.  I don't share views lightly or without reason, so if something seems a bit thin on argument or evidence then it is likely because I wish it to provoke a discussion where all angles can be explored, and not just present my views fortified and armed.

I am not sure that Nelson Mandela was right to engage his oppressors with violence.  His point was that the oppressed must fight the battle on the level determined by the oppressor... if there oppressor oppresses with violence then the oppressed must resist the oppressor with violence.  As I understood it, the power of non-violence was in the meeting of violence with non-violence.  It is no great achievement to meet non-violence with non-violence.  We all do that everyday.

His argument was that non-violence had been initiated for a long time with no success, and as such it was time to change strategy.  He did acknowledge that he regarded non-violence simply as a strategy and not as a moral imperative.  Gandhi, for example, actually saw non-violence as an end in itself, not just as a means to achieve an end.  I agree with Gandhi.  

For me, the problem is that when violence becomes established then it creates violent minds - very rarely can a man attack with the viciousness of violence and maintain a peaceful, loving mind.  This might be less of a problem during the struggle itself, but what about afterwards?  What type of people are we left with?  Not peaceful people, but violent minds who have come to regard violence as a justified means of solving problems.  Minds are not black and white.  We cannot easily compartmentalise our different attitudes.  A mind that has become accustomed to violence in one area is likely to find violence spilling over into other areas of their life, or into situations where violence is not (regarded as) appropriate.  

Peace is the end, and can only be achieved through making peace your means.  South Africa is free of white rule, but it is not free of violence.  Many live in desperate poverty, crime is high, and, so it seems, is corruption.  Those minds that adopted violence to solve their problem could not be switched off just because their problem was solved.  Those minds still pervade their societies.  This might seem like harsh criticism, but there are many now talking of revolution in the UK, and these are things that need to be considered very carefully before action is taken.  

Anyway, peace be with you, Madiba, and all your people.  

NOW 5th December 2013

There were a few things I wanted to write about today.  One was the importance of doubters and skeptics for the development and refinement of ideas, but i'm going to save that one for another time and instead talk about spiritual confidence.

I used to be super-insecure about my spirituality.  I felt like a bona-fide weirdo freak of the highest order, and I think that came across.  For a long time I was like an alien rabbit caught in the headlights of the evil cover-up FBI guys from The X-Files.  It was not fun.  But I think it was useful, because now i'm the opposite, and it's almost like I had to feel how imprisoned I was within myself to fully embrace the freedom as those bars crumbled.  

Now I have immense spiritual confidence, and with it immense spiritual freedom, and it is very, very powerful.  I know I have gold.  Gone are the days when I felt like i'd be burdened with a big burning coal that I was responsible for, now I know that I have what all human beings are looking for, and it has transformed my life, and it helps me to help others so much more.

Sharing a spiritual message is infinitely enabled by having confidence in the message.  When I was younger and I tried to express my thoughts through all my insecurity and fear it  all came out as a garbled mess and I felt myself shrinking in the glare of those I was trying to reach out to.  But now I can share what I want to share with total ease, charm, confidence and it changes how they receive the message.  They see how I am, they see my confidence in what i'm sharing, and, I guess, they figure what i'm sharing must be meaningful and significant for me to be able to express it with such conviction.  

Don't get me wrong.  I don't evangelise in the slightest, but I have a canny ability to move even the most mundane conversation into something of more depth and meaning, and I find that the vast majority of the time others are open and receptive to that development.  If not then it's quite obvious and I can just let it be.  But from my experiences it is obvious that there is a deep thirst in people for something more.  This lunatic society is starving people of their true life and most people very quickly recognise truth when it is shared, and most people want more of it.  Fortunately, after years of inner terror, I am now in a position where I can freely share with others and, it seems, have a positive impact on them.  

I am very, very grateful for this.  I love nothing more than to love others and to serve them and benefit them in any way that I can.  To have that in my heart and feel so unable to offer it for so many years was very painful.  But that's gone now!  I still have my doubtful moments, but I think that is a Virgo thing, we are apparently very insecure by nature and in need of a lot of reassurance, but that's cool, I always figure that so long as i'm aware of something then I can use my pretty mind to turn it into something positive.

Anyway, the point of this is that spiritual confidence is going to be vital in the years ahead for humanity.  Confidence can be very easily confused for arrogance.  Now, i'm not at all arrogant, and no-one who knows me would say otherwise.  In fact, no-one has ever called me arrogant, because i'm just not.  But even that fear of being perceived as so needs to be put aside a little because humanity really, really needs people to start standing up and speaking up now.  It is imperative.  

That's pretty much the whole purpose behind this blog... Not just me standing up and speaking up, but in me standing up and speaking up giving others permission to stand up and speak up.  I'm not going to be cowered by skeptics and cynics.  They can keep their tin.  I have gold.  I know I do.  I'd love to share it with them, but not for one second am I going to let their tin cast a shadow over the preciousness of what I have.  They can sneer, wax sarcasm, roll their eyes, dismiss and ridicule for all they like, but it doesn't change the truth, and it doesn't change the joy of living the truth.  

So if you happen to come across these words and you want to help so much but feel afraid to do so then, please, fear not, stand tall, speak your heart, there is truly nothing to fear (except assassination hoho), and for every little tin pot basher who puts you down there will be a million gold diggers who will embrace you with endless love.  Believe!

A bit mainstream, but it cannot be denied the beauty of this tune...

Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You     

NOW 4th December 2013

I'm struggling right now because I lack mental energy but feel like I need to write a blog entry which is interesting and entertaining and deep and profound and insightful etc. etc. etc.  but I can't think of anything, so instead i'll use these pixels to address this problem.  What is the root here?  Is it not enough to just write whatever and let that be the reality of the moment?  Does every post here have to be all things to all people, or can I sometimes just be tired and apathetic and just write a few words that don't matter much or count towards some great revelation or threaten to implode the universe through sheer brilliance?  

I think I can probably just do whatever I want.  I want a popular and successful blog because I want to help people and I think maybe I can share some things that will help, but it has to be on my terms, it can't be me trying to give to others what I think they want, that will never work.  Anyway, it's early days, I could just be writing to myself at the moment, but that's okay, I know blogs can take a long time to blossom into something... okay, I don't know that because I don't know anything about blogs, but i'll take a college level educated guess that millions of people won't be reading my words tomorrow.  But that's not the spirit, is it!  Of course millions of people will be reading my words tomorrow, or what was the point in watching The Secret.  That wasn't a question, btw.  

Actually, this blog entry isn't too bad.  So maybe there is a lesson there.  I just need to be honest.  I don't like pretence, but I do feel some sort of need to put an esoteric tutu on and give you all (read: none) a performance.  It's just not going to happen though.  This blog will live or die by truth.  I hope.  That is, I hope it is truthful, and I also hope it lives.  I'm going to give myself a few months to get used to writing blog entries and then when I feel a little bit confident I might get my swag on and try and promote it.  All very attention seeking, but that is okay, it is not for I that I seek attention but for the message conveyed in these words on a screen and the message conveyed in the attitude and mindset behind these words on a screen.  

Twenty seven.

The Time You Have (In Jelly Beans)

This video shows us - using jelly beans - how much of our lives we are wasting.  Eye opener.

The Time You Have (In Jelly Beans)

How I Will Change the World

I figure that I should at least offer something to qualify my aspirations to (just) changing the world, and so here are some of the ideas that I have floating around - some old, some new, some developed, some still in the womb.

I think what will be important for the future of humanity is that spiritual practices be presented in a form that is attractive and helpful to those who are spiritually skeptical / reluctant.  There are many benefits to be gained from many different spiritual philosophies, unfortunately, though, many people do not get to benefit from the benefits because of whatever obstacle happens to be their obstacle.

Part of that requires that the spiritual philosophy be presented by someone who lives in and understands western culture.  We're a bit fucked up us in the west, and I think it will require a western mind to truly understand our peculiar western problems and then solve them.  I once read that a Buddha is someone who carves a new path.  We need such a path carving through this big old capitalist mess.

For most people to get around to sincere, dedicated spiritual practice requires a certain degree of material security.  Most of the impoverished tend to be a bit busy trying to feed themselves and their children and keep a roof over their heads (and bodies).  Austerity measures are not helping, but they are a farce and a lie and, I suspect, designed for such a purpose as keeping us eyes wide shut.  We live in a time where we have the means, the resources and will for all human beings to live in material security.  From such a foundation it will be much easier for human beings to explore their spiritual selves, their creative selves, and their dreams.  From this point it would not be long before we lived in a very pretty world.

Hmmm, what else.  I think the above is what i'm dedicated to at the moment.  I don't want to start talking about how the above will be achieved at the moment because i'll be depriving myself future blog entries.  Suffice to say, there are plans.  As a caveat it should be made very clear that all my ideas just pop into my head and as such it is very difficult for me to take credit for them.  There are many theories as to where these ideas originate, and I might speculate at a later date, but for now i'm happy for them to arrive when needed, and i'll just accept my little missions and crack on.  Keep it simple, I say.

NOW 3rd December 2013

I started volunteering again today.  I volunteer at a centre for recovering addicts.  I've been volunteering there for nearly 4 years, and when i'm unemployed (often) I tend to volunteer there most days for most of the day.  I am bored of the old roles.  I've done them all to death and I need new challenges, and so this time I am returning with a view to give something, to contribute, to add to the service.  Today I handed in a proposal for a 'Learn about Buddhism' class to be held once a week.  It will be a mixture of discussion and some meditation.  I'm using the book 'Modern Buddhism' by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso as the basis for the teachings and discussion.  He seems to know his eggs.

I don't have much money at the moment, but I thought I had enough in my account to get the bus home.   So after volunteering I walked into town, went to a shop and bought 2 kilos of potatoes and some pitta breads for dinner and future dinners, then went to get some cash out from a hole in the wall only to be told I had insufficient funds.  Curious.  So, I went into the bank and tried to take some money out, but alas, I really did have insufficient funds.

Being bright I figured that i'd just go back to the shop and buy some more grub and just get cash-bank.  There wasn't anything else I wanted so I just picked up 2 more kilos of potatoes for later in the week, went to the pay at the self-service as I had before out of fear of having my card rejected (embarrassing for even us wannabe world-changers), only to find that once I got to the end there was no option for cash-back.  Okay then.  So, still no money to get to my home 6 miles away, and plus i've acquired 4 kilos of spud weight.  What to do.  

Like most spiritual folk persistently short of money i've been reading into the law of attraction, the hope being that all my material needs will be met with minimal effort and fuss, just by thinking / being a certain way... a certain way that I have not cracked yet.  *Sips peppermint tea*.  So, me and my potatoes decide to create my bus fare home.  Not difficult, in theory, I just send the thought out 'I have my bus fare home', which i'm pretty sure was the right thought to send out, and proceeded to know that it would be done and walked straight to the bus stop knowing that my fare would appear and i'd be home in no time at all.  The fare didn't appear, and, to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to give it much of a chance.  I was walking home.

'Come on potatoes', I didn't say, internally or externally, I just started walking.  It is quite a long walk.  It took me an hour and a half, but, you see, these are the moments I realise how blessed I am, and how much of a beautiful mind I have developed.  Not even one split atom of a negative thought arose in my mind.  No disappointment at having to walk home, no grumbling, no anger, no frustration... just a cheerful, well humoured mind, totally accepting and happy with the situation.  I love that.  I love that life gave me those potatoes too, just to give the challenge an edge.  I responded beautifully.  

It's so encouraging to experience those moments.  One of my main practices at the moment is to just enjoy everything.  It used to be to accept everything.  Now it is to enjoy it all, whatever it may be.  It just comes down to my mind.  I have cultivated a mind that can make any situation enjoyable.  One way or another my mind finds an angle that makes every moment - whatever its taste - enjoyable.  I'm still early days with it, and that enjoyment will deepen as I commit more to it, but it's happening, it's there.  I get to smile no matter what.  

Here's what I have just been listening to.

Palms - Antarctic Handshake

I hope you are well, you who is reading this.     

Sync #1 Serpico

Sync as in syncronicity, although some may prefer coincidence.  I was having an evening off from changing the world and decided to make the most of my last few hours of my free Netflix trial month by watching one of their movies.  I narrowed it down to Rushmore (comedy) and Serpico (70s cop).  I read a few reviews of both - both got great reviews, but I fancied something light, and I love Bill Murray, so I went with Rushmore.  So, there I am watching and enjoying this weird movie when this happens...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAwS2ecFse8

That's right, within the movie Rushmore some of the characters are putting on a theatric stage performance of... Serpico!  In these moments my mind doesn't really know what to do.  It seems to get stuck between realities... i'm not shocked or surprised because these kind of syncs have happened to me on so many occasions before, but at the same time my rational mind is bleeting 'HOW???'  'What are the odds?!'  Are such moments just coincidence?  What are the odds on narrowing down the search for a movie to watch from thousands available to just two, and that the one of the two you didn't watch is actually a prominent part of the film you did choose to watch?  It's just weird.

Anyway, good film.

9/10.

NOW 2nd December 2013

I always have a lot of ideas and receive a lot of inspiration.  For years now I have bounced from one big idea to the next and then back again, and until very recently I thought this was a problem and that I needed to get focused and concentrate on one idea and succeed with it.  But recently I realised that my ideas are like plants in a garden, and that they are planted in my mind then nurtured over time before (hopefully) blossoming.

So now I have no problem bouncing from one idea to the next, because each time I visit an idea it grows that little bit more, and now I can envisage a time when all these ideas will blossom into the most wonderful garden.

The ideas keep coming, and what I realised only today is that every time I get a new idea or batch of ideas I get excited and give them all my attention, and they seem very important to me, and I develop them to a point and then the momentum is gone and I step back.  Then another idea or two come along and they supersede the previous ideas, but at the same time they take away the pressure of the importance of the previous set of ideas and, as such, make those previous ideas much easier to get on and implement.

For example, a few months ago I was working on a small local magazine with the kind of content that will be on this blog in it.  I was also working on selling raw vegan sweet snacks as well as doing raw vegan coaching, whilst taking groups of recovering addicts on week visits to a Buddhist centre (a LOT of ideas!).  At the time these ideas seemed so important, and they were all developed to a certain point but then my enthusiasm fell flat as the pressure of them all became too much and my brain couldn't keep up.  But now I have some new ideas... I want to plan some civil disobedience campaigns against the austerity measures and I want to try and make a quality blog here, and these things excite me (and daunt me) more than the previous ideas, to the point where the previous ideas are like 'whatever!' and I feel like i'll just do them in my sleep, no worries, no sweat, no big deal.

I like these developments.  I love the strange little angles and insights that come out of nowhere.  Sometimes I wonder what more can I understand and be aware of.  I guess we cannot conceive of what we have yet to conceive of, so it's quite beautiful when something new arises in my mind and helps me to see things in a new light.  The understanding that all my ideas are like plants growing in a garden gave me immense peace of mind.  Prior to that i'd felt like a failure, like none of my ideas were succeeding and that I lacked commitment.  But this couldn't be further from the truth!  I am ridiculously committed, it's just that sometimes the inspiration isn't there and there is no way forwards at that time, and maybe there is a good reason for that.  I certainly know that if some of my ideas had 'succeeded' at the time of their inception that they'd only have been ruined very quickly by my immaturity at the time.  So I know now that my ideas will blossom when I am ready to present them to the world, and i'm happy with that.

The Evil of Work After Hours

We have allowed a culture to materialise where many of us are now expected to work outside of our work hours… for free!  And we agree to this!  We actually do it.  We work hour after hour, long into our own personal time, we miss out on precious time with our children and partners, as well as equally precious time to relax and have fun... and we are doing it for free!  Why?!  Why are we allowing ourselves to be bullied, manipulated and coerced into agreeing to this?  When did we become such willing, compliant slaves?    

We do not exist to make money for other people.  If someone wants us to work outside of our work hours then they should be paying us!  What other reason are we at work for?!  As far as I was aware, we go to work to earn money, so, no money = no work.  But now it's flipped.  Now it's not just no work = no money but work = no money!  Huh?  We have zero obligation to our employer other than to work to the best of our ability whilst we are being paid to work. 

When we choose to work for free then we choose our own exploitation.  And when we justify this exploit ion ('oh but i'm just glad to have a job'… 'oh but I don't want to be overlooked for promotion' etc. etc.) and submit to it then we endorse it, we compound it, and, we establish a precedent for our future exploitation that will not be passed up on.  Such pitiful compliance makes us the master of our own slavery.  We put our shackles on, we turn the lock, we throw the key away, and then we - just because we are audacious like this - bitch about being over-worked and never seeing our families! 

Is there an easy solution to this?  Nope.  Can we come up with a solution?  Yes, of course we can!  Is there any reason why things need to be this way?  It is true that this system has us by the balls.  The economy is a (designed) mess and they have the power to dangle our jobs over us and make us play catch.  But, who really has the power?  US!  We have the numbers, we have the intelligence, we have the resources, we have everything we need to change this situation.  But we have to make some changes.  We have to stop the corporate back-stabbing.  We have to stop trying to climb the ladder chasing the money.  We have to stop trampling over each other to get to the power and the status.  These things divide us and keep us competing against each other instead of working together in unity for a common goal and a shared good.  

Look at the stars.  Look at the vastness of the Universe.  Reflect on the mind-bobbling expanses of time.  Consider that, one day, you will be gone from this planet, you and all your loved ones, all your striving, all your ambition, all your power, all your wealth, and ask yourself if what you have and what you strive for is enough to justify this precious life.  If not, then what are you doing it for?  Why are you missing out on your children growing up?  Why are you so tired and stressed and unhappy?  It is time for a re-think.  There is nothing to be afraid of.  We have strength in unity.  Stand tall with your colleagues, organise yourselves, relinquish fear, make a stand, and do what you know to be right.  You are not a slave.    

Introduction

Ever since I was 18 and my mind collapsed and I stopped wanting to play Playstation and I never wanted to get a job ever, I have wanted to change the world.  I know that is unwise, and that it is a big task, but hey ho, that's what i'm here for, and so I figured if I shared the process then that in itself might help to change the world... y'know, like looking under the hood.  It will also help me to keep track of my thoughts, and - given some feedback - develop my thoughts through some deep and meaningful.  So, here it is, this is me, just changing the world.